THE COUNCIL OF UNHINGED ADVISORS

Jacques-Pierre: *is sitting in the corner of a dimly lit café, somehow*

Ah... you are here. Or are you? What is "here" but a construct we create to avoid confronting the infinite void of "there"?

*takes impossibly long sip of espresso*

You come to me with problems, yes? But consider... the Brie. When the Brie is young, it is firm, it has boundaries, it knows what it is. But as it ages? It becomes... soft. Uncontained. It spreads beyond itself.

*lights cigarette from another cigarette*

Are we not all just aging cheese, my friend? Spreading... melting... eventually being scraped off a plate at a party no one wanted to attend?

*single tear rolls down cheek*

But please. Tell me your troubles. I will listen. I will understand. I will offer no solutions, only more beautiful questions. This is the French way.